Networking At An Event: What To Do When Comparison Creeps In
Events are high-energy, high-cost opportunities. Yet most people treat them like toss-ups: either the organizer delivered and you get sales—or they didn't and you leave disappointed.
Walking into a room of confident, accomplished people feels exciting—and sometimes crushing. If you've ever felt small among a circle of inspiring professionals, you’re not alone. Networking at an event can ignite ideas, partnerships, and momentum, but it can also trigger the inner critic that whispers, "You don't belong" or "I'm not good enough". This post breaks down why that happens, simple reframes, and practical steps so your next time networking at an event becomes an opportunity, not a setback.
Before we dive in, let me introduce myself. I’m Amy Sussex, founder of The Business Management Co. and host of Beyond Your Business. I help women entrepreneurs simplify their operations, strengthen their systems, and grow businesses that are sustainable, profitable, and aligned with their lives, not just their to-do lists.
Table of Contents
The common spiral: why comparison sneaks up during networking at an event
Three practical moves to own the room (before, during, after)
How to prepare for networking events
Final takeaways — what to remember when the messy middle hits
FAQ about networking at an event
The Common Spiral: Why Comparison Sneaks up During Networking at an Event
I recently attended a well-run event with lots of talented people. Great space, great energy — but I spiraled. Listening to everyone give their wins and elevator pitches, I compared myself, minimized my work, and started doubting whether I’d communicated what I do clearly enough. I left feeling deflated instead of energized.
When people go around a table sharing wins and momentum, it’s natural to compare. That comparison thief of joy shows up fast: you hear a polished elevator pitch or a confident intro and immediately run through stories about what you lack. Instead of seeing inspiration, your brain magnifies gaps.
Here are the mechanics behind the spiral:
You put others on a pedestal and downgrade your own wins.
Unclear messaging about your work makes you feel invisible when people recommend others instead of you.
Lack of follow-up systems turns great moments into missed opportunities.
Tips for Networking Events: Reframe Comparison into Curiosity
Next time you feel yourself start to go down the comparison spiral, try this one mental shift: if you’re comparing, it means you care. Turn comparison into curiosity—ask what you admire and what you can learn, rather than measuring yourself against someone else's highlight reel. This simple reframe moves you from scarcity to growth. For even more insights, tune into the full podcast episode here.
Three Practical Moves to Own the Room that Change How I Show Up to Networking At An Event Now
Preparation and follow-through change how networking at an event feels and what it delivers for me now. Here are my 3 recommendations (before, during, and after) that help to reframe comparison as care — a signal you want growth, not a verdict on your worth.
1. Before: Set Your Intention
Define one purpose or goal for the event: Are you looking to hire someone, sell something, learn something, or find collaborators?
Prepare a concise intro that highlights who you help and the outcome you create. (More on this below)
Decide what connections you want to make—be specific so introductions become easier.
2. During: Energy and Presence
When spirals happen at a networking event, pause and ask: what does my body and brain actually need? Quick, practical choices — a nourishing snack, a nap, a short walk, or journaling — will ground you faster than distracting comforts that drain energy. Here are a few suggestions:
Anchor yourself with a simple breathing ritual to reset before you enter the room, or if you need to take a break during the event.
Lead with curiosity when talking to new contacts—ask two questions before you share about yourself, this helps you be more present.
Keep your intro short and benefit-focused so others can immediately perceive your value. This will help you make better connections and feel more confident talking to new people.
How to Stop the Spiral in Real Time
Whether you’re at a networking event or at home getting ready to do your follow up your inner critic can hit at any time. When it does, pick one small, grounding action and do it right away. When you’re home you have more options for grounding but the grounding activities for during an event work just as well at home too, but you can also eat something nourishing, take a 20-minute nap, step outside for fresh air, or write the spiral down and question one thought. These are a few of my favourites:
Pause and breathe for 60 seconds. Slow your exhale.
Label the feeling: “I’m feeling comparison and small right now.” Naming it reduces its power.
Anchor with one small physical choice: eat something nourishing, step outside for fresh air, or sit quietly for five minutes.
Use a reframe: remind yourself that comparison = care, not failure.
If helpful, write one sentence about what you do and one sentence about who benefits most from working with you.
These micro-actions anchor your nervous system so networking at an event or following up later becomes sustainable instead of draining.
3. After: Follow-up
They say the fortune is in the follow-up, here are my tips for turning following up into a repeatable system that gets results. Within 24–72 hours:
Block 45–60 minutes after the event for follow-ups—treat it like a non-negotiable meeting.
Send a personalized message referencing your conversation and a single next step. You can use a template for follow-ups but personalize the first line so people remember you
Track connections and outcomes in a simple CRM or spreadsheet so momentum compounds.
If it’s been a week(s), reach out anyway. Most people are busy but appreciative — a friendly reminder is often welcomed.
How to Prepare for Networking Events (A Simple Checklist)
Set one clear intention: what do you want to feel and accomplish?
Write a concise 30–45 second intro that explains who you serve and a single outcome you create.
Identify two concrete ask/offers (who do you want to meet and what could you offer them?).
Block 30–60 minutes in your calendar after the event for follow-ups — and treat it as non-negotiable.
Plan an energy strategy: snacks, sleep, and a quick reset ritual if you feel overwhelmed.
Final Takeaways — What to Remember When the Messy Middle Hits
Walking into rooms that stretch you is one of the fastest ways to grow — even when it feels messy. With a clear intention, a simple energy plan, and a follow-up routine you protect, those rooms become launching pads, not places that shrink you. Give yourself permission to show up imperfectly, because showing up imperfectly is still showing up.
The messy middle is where growth lives: you leave stretched, a little uncomfortable, but one step closer to clarity. If you want a simple mantra to carry with you next time you walk into a room—remember your why, set an intention, and treat comparison as a signal to learn, not to shrink. Lastly, don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast and follow me on social media @amy.sussex for more tips to take action and create success beyond your business.
FAQ About Networking at an Event
How do I stop comparing myself to other people at events?
Start by naming the feeling and reframing comparison as evidence you care. Shift focus from others to one clear intention (what you want to feel and who you want to meet). Use a short anchor ritual — breathing, standing up, or asking a question — to move out of your head and into connection.
I missed the follow-up window. Should I still reach out?
Yes. Send a brief, friendly message acknowledging time passed, remind them where you met, and offer one clear next step. Most people are busy and will appreciate the reconnect.
What are quick energy resets that actually work?
Choose one: eat a nourishing snack, take a 20-minute nap, step outside for fresh air and a walk, or do a short breathing exercise. Avoid sugary or comfort foods that lead to energy crashes when you need sustained focus.
How do I craft a clear 30–45 second intro?
Use this template: “I help [who] do/achieve [specific result] so they can [impact or feeling].” Keep it simple, speak from the outcome you create, and have one example or metric ready if someone asks for proof.
Beyond Your Business Episode 79 References
Resources
Website https://thebusinessmanagementco.com/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/amy.sussex/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@TheBusinessManagementCo
A few of my favourite things: (Please note these are affiliate links)
Buzzsprout https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2271913
Dubsado
Monarch Community https://www.themonarchandco.com/a/2147532567/xoEjY7G2
High Vibe Women Community http://high-vibe-women.so/checkout/the-online-community?affiliate_code=9b1729